Positive Differences

On a Friday evening, rather than scrolling on social media or trying to find a show on Netflix to watch, imagine getting together, making food, and watching the movie everyone has been waiting for the entire week. 

Fatma immigrated from Baghdad, Iraq, to the United States when she was just 4 years old. Living in the U.S. for so long would make it seem easy to assimilate into American culture only, but Fatma’s experience living in both worlds proves otherwise. Her family moved to the U.S. for new job opportunities. Her first language was Arabic, and she had to take speech classes to learn English.

One of the greatest contrasts between America and Iraq is the community. The American stereotype of the “nosy neighbor” pales in comparison to Iraqi neighbors, according to Fatma. While Iraqi neighbors are stumbling over their feet to help with any and all problems in the area, Americans are more distant and mind their own business. She says, “I feel like that’s a struggle for my parents because they still can’t adapt to it…like community, they’re very outgoing people too, and once I came here it was very different.” This cultural difference manifests tangibly in one of Fatma’s reverse culture shocks when she visits Iraq: technology. She recalls that in her family and community, there are so many people to talk and interact with, so many rely less on technology to pass the day. 

Fatma recognizes the positives and negatives of the two worlds. Fatma’s personality is outgoing and social, focusing on a positive mindset and being determined to do all she can. She says, “ I have a very positive mindset right now… no matter how hard the situation hurts me, but I feel like over there I would probably be a bit more sensitive, or not understand who I am or want to be.” She notes the male-dominated culture, and how she can’t recognize some of her old friends since they plan to marry right out of high school and be dependent on a man, which conflicts with her more independent personality. Nonetheless, her culture is still at the heart of who she is, and she would love to live in Iraq for a while to get back in touch with her roots.

The divide in culture is emphasized by the literal language barrier. As another immigrant-kid-exclusive experience, Fatma recounts how she is perfectly fluent in speaking, but struggles in reading and writing. Being out of practice in these aspects of language since living in America has led to some judgment from members of her community. Through the difficulties, Fatma aims to focus on improving her reading by reading the Quran. 

With these complexities in mind, Fatma describes her struggle to fit in. She feels almost too Arab for America and too American for Iraq. Whereas in Iraq, they’d see Americans as perfect, white, and rich–exactly what is portrayed in the movies– Americans don’t expect her to be as outgoing as she is since she wears a hijab. One of the ways she was able to connect to people was through sports. Despite the initial stereotype that she wouldn’t be athletic or outgoing because she covers up, Fatma has proved them wrong with her athletic ability and energetic personality. On the other hand, Fatma notes how she felt like an outsider, but in the best way possible. Although there are prevailing stereotypes, she describes how being an outsider caused many to be interested in her and her culture, allowing her to make new friends. This quality is what inspires her to strive to become a therapist, wanting to connect with others and help them embrace who they are.